| Author |
Quote |
Score |
| Aristotle |
Educated men are as much superior to uneducated men as the living are to the dead |
320 |
| Clint Eastwood |
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster |
305 |
| Oscar Wilde |
I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot |
303 |
| Montgomery Burns |
Dream on, bitch |
302 |
| Eminem |
Unless you want to fuck me, why do you care what I look like? |
300 |
| Eminem |
To all the people who never gave love, and continue to deny me 'cuz of what I look like: suck my dick you fucks! |
299 |
| Karl Marx |
Last words are for fools who haven't said enough |
299 |
| Clint Eastwood |
That's enough of that shit |
298 |
| Eminem |
Oh you want me to watch my mouth? How, take my fucking eyeballs out and turn em around? |
298 |
| Warren Buffet |
Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote |
298 |
| Will Smith |
Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit |
298 |
| Oscar Wilde |
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between |
296 |
| Aristotle |
As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers |
294 |
| Eminem |
I do promote violence and I don't give a fuck |
294 |
| Barack Obama |
You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig |
293 |
| John Cleese |
It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor |
293 |
| Will Smith |
Why don't you look like one? |
293 |
| Gandhi |
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers |
292 |
| Rowan Atkinson |
Your head is as empty as a hermit's address book |
292 |
| Oscar Wilde |
Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it |
291 |
| Rowan Atkinson |
Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine |
291 |
| John Cleese |
It's alright, he's only choking! |
289 |
| Montgomery Burns |
So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect? |
289 |
| Shakespeare |
I dote on his very absence |
289 |
| Will Smith |
If you were me you'd look good |
288 |
| Rowan Atkinson |
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest |
287 |
| John Cleese |
I'd like to meet him. I could do with a laugh |
284 |
| Arnold Schwarzenegger |
Nixon was always being attacked sexually. It was always said that he was a fag and that he had no sexual relations with his wife for 15 years and that was why he liked power. And Hitler had only one ball, and that was why he wanted to conquer the world |
283 |
| Oscar Wilde |
There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose |
282 |
| Barack Obama |
I'm not denouncing the church, and I'm not interested in people who want me to denounce the church. It's not a church worthy of denouncing |
279 |
| Oscar Wilde |
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast |
279 |
| Jim Carrey |
If I'm not back in five minutes, wait longer |
278 |
| Oscar Wilde |
The coward does it with a kiss |
278 |
| Will Smith |
It's woman like her why God made darkness |
276 |
| Will Smith |
Woah! Carlton, whats that growing out of ur neck? Its so ugly and wierd. Oh wait its just your head |
276 |
| Shakespeare |
For my part, it was Greek to me |
274 |
| Oscar Wilde |
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people |
271 |
| John Cleese |
Oh, "him". He's hopeless, isn't he? |
270 |
| Arnold Schwarzenegger |
Well, there was no sex for 14 days |
269 |
| John Cleese |
Oh, German. I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you |
269 |
| Bruce Lee |
If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you |
267 |
| Eminem |
Who's Tony Blair, did he get his dick sucked? Oh he ain't shit then |
264 |
| John Cleese |
You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona |
255 |
| Arnold Schwarzenegger |
If they don't have the guts, I call them girlie men |
254 |
| Jim Carrey |
Yes, Satan? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else |
254 |
| Eminem |
Some asshole kept throwing oranges and other fruit at me while I was onstage. Fucker had an arm like a major league pitcher |
253 |
| Phoebe Buffay |
Nothing rhymes with your stupid name |
252 |
| John Cleese |
Manuel, you're a waste of space |
250 |
| Jim Carrey |
I must say, you are a gloomy-looking bunch |
238 |
| Cdin |
Doesn't mean I like u4it. In fact, ur a monster |
237 |
| Garfield |
No need for a second opinion |
234 |
| Homer Simpson |
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. 6 feet tall, 300 pounds ... it makes ice |
234 |
| Phoebe Buffay |
First time I met Chandler, I thought he was gay, but here I am singing on his wedding day! |
231 |
| John Cleese |
Why don't you talk properly? |
230 |
| Shakespeare |
I am not bound to please thee with my answer |
230 |
| Phoebe Buffay |
She was nice to me, but she's in hell for sure |
229 |
| Jim Carrey |
Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then. |
228 |
| Garfield |
His I.Q. is so low you can't test it. You have to dig for it |
226 |
| Homer Simpson |
Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it |
226 |
| Phoebe Buffay |
I can see why running next to me would be embarrassing for you |
225 |
| Shakespeare |
There's small choice in rotten apples |
224 |
| Will Smith |
Now lookie here, you big, orange, Moby Dick |
221 |
| Will Smith |
I think you've been deprived of oxygen at birth |
220 |
| Jim Carrey |
First I'd establish a motive. In this case, the killer saw the size of the bug's dick, and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose thirty pounds, porking his wife |
219 |
| Garfield |
Have you used your brain today? |
218 |
| Alanis Morissette |
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect |
215 |
| Phoebe Buffay |
Yeah, well, in America you're just an ass |
210 |
| Homer Simpson |
I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening |
209 |
| Will Smith |
Yeeaaahhh shut up and get back inside, you're stretching the building |
209 |
| Will Smith |
Damn, those are some big feet! |
207 |
| Garfield |
I'd love to go camping with you, but I have to stay home and pluck my nose hairs |
206 |
| Garfield |
That's not a dog! That's a tongue with eyeballs! |
204 |
| Garfield |
It's pathetic the way some animals beg at the table. Where is your pride, Odie? |
200 |
| Will Smith |
I ain't heard no fat lady! |
200 |
| Homer Simpson |
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try |
195 |
| Aristotle |
Hippocrates is an excellent geometer but a complete fool in everyday affairs |
182 |
| John Cleese |
You can get your wife to sit on em! |
170 |
